as many of you know, i went to utah this last week for a wedding.
(pictures coming…this will be a photo-less post. LAME, i know!)
i came home with two things.
1 – a terrible cold. i am so NOT used to utah weather. and my body does not handle a change in climate too well.
2 – a lot on my mind. …
i came home to georgia after serving an 18 month mission for my church in may of 2010 (puerto rico/barbados = best timer EVER!). when i came home, i realized all my friends had moved on (married and/or out of state at school) and yet i stayed here. why? well, i was broke. living at home was ideal at the time. and now it’s been a year and a half, and i guess i’ve just grown accustomed to this life. work. the gym. home. really no social life at all.
then i go to utah.
no, utah is NOT my favorite place. but i was there with some of my favorite people. and met even more amazing people. remembering what it’s like to be a twenty-something with a social life. in a place full of good people to meet and mingle with. and knowing what i was coming home to is just shy of depressing.
yes, and i keep telling myself i have it good right now…living at home is cheap. i have a great job. i have transportation. school is lined up for january. granted, i haven’t even registered for classes or paid tuition yet, but i’m accepted into the program.
i don’t know. i have this innate fear of decisions and that i’m always making the wrong one. i felt fine about being here in georgia until now…now that i see what it’s like to be somewhere else. the fact that i’m 24, i don’t date at all (and haven’t for the past 3 years), and i socialize with people here maybe once a month seems like such a crap hole to be in at my age.
but my mom reminds me that if i go elsewhere i won’t have a car, a job, or be in school for a while…and i’ll have to start paying rent and groceries with the bit i have saved up. that’s enough to start frustrating any thoughts of leaving.
and yes, i know people do it all the time. they move. they find a job and figure it out. they say what’s supposed to happen will fall into place. but looking at my life makes me feel like i’m not a very good judge of what’s “supposed to happen” and “things falling into place”.
and WHY does italy have to be going bankrupt??!! makes any thoughts i have of leaving my current job situation a complete absurdity.