i love sleep!

Of all places, in my interior design class we got on the topic of sleep. It’s not a new idea that “early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise” (I’m not so sure about the wealthy part). BUT…this discussion on studies done and the facts behind our body’s schedule and the IDEAL sleep pattern made me come home with a goal for James and myself. Especially since it was pointed out that our sleep patterns were contributing to bad eating habits, moodiness, and poor performance of both body and mind. lethargy = bad times!

I proposed the idea of us going to be at 11pm and waking up at 7am every day! (ok, to those of you with kids who get you up at 5-6am everyday, I am sorry…this is the “ideal” sleep schedule we are attempting).

James is a night owl. Me…not so much. James likes going to bed past 1 or 2 am. He is also not the most fun person to get out of bed in the morning. I have my days as well.

ANYWAY…we put our schedule to test last week. We both love love loved it! 11-7! I felt energized, productive, well rested, and all around better.  (D&C 88 anyone?!)

Too bad the weekend came and totally threw us off. It is hard to socialize at our age in a college town and make it to bed by 11pm on the weekend. We’re making an attempt to get back on schedule though.

Case in point….11-7…give it a go!

…fact chart overload…

love, whit

turning a quarter-of-a-century

for some, 25 may not seem old at all. in fact, i know many people dream of being that young again.

for me, it seems like just last month i was dreaming of turning 21 and how old i thought that was. then suddenly, i’m blowing out candles on a homemade pink lemonade cupcake and thinking… “twenty-five. where did the last four years go??”

my actual birthday weekend (the BiG day being may 20th) was far better than i could have imagined. i won’t lie – i was not thrilled for the date to roll around and had little intentions of making any plans. in my head, it’s just a reminder of how old i am and where i find myself in life. i never pictured it like this, for had you asked me at age 20, “where do you see yourself in five years?”, i had a different vision in mind.

though, for being a few weeks new in town, new faces and a few familiar ones made it a special day. especially chelsea – my blog bestie and now roommate. (check out her adorable cupcakes and set-up. homemade frosting too!)

however, what made my birthday not so dreary, was a surprise that came about a few days before….

i’m cooking some dinner for me and chels on thursday night, when the doorbell rings. standing there is my boyfriend’s best friend and fiance with beautiful flowers in a vase. a huge smile comes over my face as i’m thinking, “these must be from james!” (also given that they had their iphone out recording my reaction). as i’m gawking over my lovely arrangement, stephen remembers he forgot the stuffed animal in the car and left to retrieve it.

still gawking over my flowers, i hear them call me, “Whitney, come look!”…

completely and utterly shocked, i peek around the corner to see stephen carrying my stuffed animal…

…james flew all the way from Atlanta to surprise me for my birthday!

i had no idea. at all.

best. birthday surprise. OF   ALL   T I M E!

having him here to spend my weekend with was more than i could have ever wished for.

i have to say, i feel like the luckiest girl because james is practically perfect in every way.

happy birthday, to ME!

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though, my birthday is over, and now i’m back to dwelling on my “quarter-of-a-century”. thinking about where i’ve been in my past and where i want to go in my future.

yesterday, i had an overwhelming epiphany regarding my divine potential and the person i could BE. my mind went crazy with goals and resolves of the kind of life i wanted and the things i wanted to spend my days doing. so much to do. so much to learn. so much to improve.

today, i feel an overwhelming wave of disappointment and self loathing because of the person i AM and my lack, or more – failure to ever reach my full potential. walking to church by myself this morning bundled up in freezing wind and hail when it’s only days until june (so messed up) really set the mood for a day that can’t seem to keep the tears from flowing.

it’s days like these when i’m glad to be in a place where nobody knows or notices me, but at the same time wishing i had familiar faces around.

i know come tomorrow, i’ll probably be feeling as good as new…but today, i hate twenty-five.

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last night i put together this super fab arrangement of freshly cut roses from my friend’s bushes…

…and this morning i woke up to find the big ones completely dead/wilted and about half the others pathetically drooping. how appropriate.

i hope the sun comes out tomorrow.

love, whit

why am i not in bed?

 

okgoodnight,love,whit

a post for today…

…the needed mentality.

…loving this photo.

…in the mood to watch Amelie.

…tickled about my new bedding!

…done and done.

love, whit

what a shitty weekend

how do you get out of a bad mood?

what are your “get happy” remedies? i’m at a loss. (i already tried buying the new red skinnies i’ve been wanting – only a temporary fix though, obvi. ha)

for no reason my days just suck and i’m so ready for them to be over. so i go to the gym after work. i’ll soak in a hot bath for half an hour. i consider reading. or painting. but most the time there’s no use because i’m just tired. so i resort to laying peaceful in my bed and fall asleep because maybe i’ll wake feeling different. maybe tomorrow will be better.

my dad came to me tonight to tell me he’s noticed that the past couple of weeks i’ve been in a bad mood, and it shows. he said i’m being really snappy and i need to be more careful about that. ugh. and i know it’s true.

seems no matter what i do though (even my valentines projects or an afternoon of paintball), at the end of the day, i sink into my bed and feel i could disappeeear.

 

what matters most

what DOES matter most, you know? i was thinking about that…and came up with these three things:

1. love. HOW we love.

2. sacrifice. what we GIVE for others. (time, talents, efforts, self) {which is a direct reflection of #1}

3. who we become as a result of #1 and #2

so, people. people matter. how you treat them, matters. what you say, matters. what you do – or don’t do, matters. and the doing (or not doing) for others is how we work on ourselves. i believe this to be true.

a little ironic how one of the best ways to improve the self – is to forget it. or rather, give it.

  i have a lot of work to do.

love, whit

i’ve lived too much of my life with this fear, and resolve that 2012 is a good time to stop. people are not perfect, nor will they ever be. it wouldn’t be faith if we already knew the end from the beginning. we were made for this kind of living.

(italy update coming soon!)

love, whit

out with the old IN with the new! best of 2011. goals 2012.

it’s that time…the LAST WEEK of 2011! icanhardlybelieveit.

let’s review 2011. last january started off with snow and ice:

but spring came…so did family…and the Atlanta, GA lds temple re-opened!

the temple made it possible for our friends to become a forever family!:

i turned 24:

the summer’s garden was a success:

(some of the first fruits!)…cinnamon and kids came to visit…we enjoyed july 4th together

(and i succumbed and chopped off all my hair)

my two best friends had their FIRST babies in the same week! i took prego pics of both:

and my SISTER had her fourth…happy new little nephew to ME…this is miles august ayres:

me and miles…i made it back to utah after like 4 years…for B’s wedding! and a reunion of friends:

mine and elissa’s reunion was WAY overdue.

same with ry guy.

and i even MET my blog bestie in PERSON!! miss chelsea vose.

and the year got even better, joe beau came to visit…

and as you just saw..Christmas came, and so did my favorite Virginia family.

i try to reflect on the last year and it’s happenings. funny how it always feels like so long ago and yet also that the year sped by. i had to reference back to my old 2011 NEW YEAR blog post to see my list, how far i’ve come and what progress was made.

so, referring back to that list of goals, i DID in  R E V I E W:

- take more pictures: purchased a DSLR which was a major catalyst

- be more social? …eh, yes and no! haha.

- get back to school: i DID take some online classes in 2011. got a 4.0 in them! win!

- get in shape?: i joined a gym and fell in love with zumba. i would say a definite improvement/obsession for a healthier lifestyle was made. win!

- i HAVE done some painting in 2011. wish i’d done more.

- did i make it back to Puerto Rico? pick-up my old guitar skillz? or was there a boda? no, no, and…no. life goes on.

all in all, 2011 was a rough year for me. no lies. and although there weren’t many HUGE events for me…there was a lot of personal reflection and growth. i feel i have come a long way (but still with a long way to go). i feel i am so much more honest with myself and much more trusting in God and His timing. i also was employed full-time all of 2011…and blessed with a great job this year, too! i will count my blessings.

as for my Whitney Tutt 2011 BEST OF list…looking back, i have very little to offer as far as movies and music and all of that this year. so…please excuse my pathetic list.

MY top 2011 album releases:

haha…love how i had to throw in the Biebs there.

Feist, Wilco, Coldplay, and Adele all had noteworthy album releases in 2011 as well. I just haven’t spent too much time listening to them to be able to properly rate them. OH…and Pitbull…Planet Pit has some good ones! ha!

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M O V I E S. i was the worst at seeing movies in 2011. but i did make it to THE END:

also, of course i saw the new Twilight. i should be ashamed of the few times i made it to the theater this year. i didn’t see the new X-Men. or Green Lantern. or Thor. or Cowboys and Aliens. or Bridesmaids. or The Adjustment Bureau. or…well. what DID i see?

that i can remember…Limitless. Fast Five. Super 8. Something Borrowed. Pirates 3. HP7. Breaking Dawn. Jane Eyre.

oh…i did thoroughly love this movie, if you have even heard of it, came out in Feb:

and, i’m such a fan of the 80′s classic, i loved the new one:

so, that’s that.

B O O K S!

my 2011 favvy:

and that concludes my 2011 review.

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NOW

time for my 2012 goals. considering the last couple months of 2011 have been rather positive. it gives me hope for the NEW YEAR!

i mean, i WILL be spending my first two weeks of the new year in Italy. what better way to ring in 2012?! i feel like the year will be as eventful as it’s start.

2012 GOALS:

1. Thanksgiving Day half-marathon (with my sisters, that’s the plan)

2. maintain health and fitness (which will be needed to accomplish #1 – i also have new yoga dvds i need to try more regularly)

3. allow my hair to grow out at least long enough for a ponytail. ha! dye it less.

4. be more assertive

5. work on my sewing skills

6. practice piano often

7. maintain an eternal perspective

8. develop my art more – paint/draw more (aka: spend less time on Pinterest and more time actually DOING the great ideas)

9. complete one book a month

10. notice/do more for others. serve.

11. try a new recipe each month (i have so many “pending” to be attempted)

12. figure out my “continuing education” plan

13. travel somewhere new

14. work on my “technical” photography knowledge

15. true love

…i think i can handle those. realistic. attainable. worth it. i’m ready.

2012…bring it!

love, whit

bad days

thunder, rain, clouds, and gloomy fog. a miserable 70 degrees a few days before Christmas is yuck.

this will be an emotional post. just fyi.

there was no event to trigger it, but yesterday was one of those days where i found myself on a constant verge of tears. tired. not in the mood to talk to anyone. wanting to deactivate my facebook..ha. my head full of doubts. doubting myself. doubting the future. feeling like a contradiction. and a hypocrite. and a failure. only seeing everything i’m not instead everything i supposedly am.

i’m a blessed person, why am i feeling like this?

it’s not a new feeling though. i have my “coping process”…which usually consists of me putting on a smile and trying my best to not let my feeling down affect anyone around me. i feel like it’s selfish to wear it on my sleeve and pull others down with me. against my mood, i even went to a Christmas party last night. i made it a point to be social and went out of my way to be friendly and interact with new people.

i go through my day hoping to make it better. thinking maybe if i only play happy songs my mood will change. or if i can make a difference in someone else’s day i’ll feel better. or hoping someone else will be the one to say something to really make me feel better and loved. i wish i didn’t constantly need self-esteem boosts. but despite my attempts, the day ends with a big cry and falling asleep. which is exactly what happened yesterday. though sometimes that’s all you can do to feel any sort of better.

and then i wake up today. the aftermath. caring just enough to throw on a t-shirt and head to work in the rain, with my bed-hair and looking like hell.

looking on the bright side, my four day weekend starts at 5pm today.

love, whit