what I’m learning being married

James & I will hit the 6 month mark of marriage this coming Easter weekend. 6 WHOLE BIG WHOPPING MONTHS. I know what you’re thinking…that’s NUTHIN’! But it seems that time is flying in a “6 months ALREADY? / ONLY 6 months!? Feels like we’ve known each other much longer.” kind of way. If that makes any sense at all.

I was prepped my whole life to know that “marriage is not easy & not always all romantic like the movies make it out to be.” (granted, I feel that these days movies are portraying more and more dysfunctional family situations than they used to. or is it just me?) Anyway, I’m grateful for going into marriage with realistic expectations. It has made me cherish every bit of it & have fun in the journey. I think marriage is GREAT and SO FUN and SO WORTH IT! Personally, I’m having a blast. That doesn’t mean it’s always all cherry pie and picnics though.

And for some reason, I just feel like sharing some things I’m learning along the way…

1. Don’t dwell on the little things/pick your battles. I’ve accepted that even though I have the mentality of branching out and trying new things…James will ALWAYS order the one thing on the menu that has”BBQ” in the title. Mundane? I think so. The man likes to stick with what he knows. He’s simple. I’m not so much. And I’m not just referring to our food preferences. I could easily let things bother me. Though I’m seeing that our combo is quite the perfect match. We balance each other out nicely.

2. James is male. I am female. well, DUH! But…I’d say we’re both learning to be accepting of the fact that I will always have to repeat myself a few times if I want to get a response out of him while he is watching TV, fiddling with his phone, playing a video game or basically doing anything with technology. Likewise, he has come to terms with the fact that I’m overly sensitive and could, at any given moment, start crying about who knows what that might not even have to do with him. So, patience is key because I highly doubt either of those things is ever going to change entirely…or at all.

3. Communication! We can’t read each other’s minds, so no use harboring ill feelings about something. I think this is mostly for me – the overly emotional one. Poor James won’t always know if I’d like him to help more with something. or WHY I’m acting cranky or stressed. or if there is something bothering me. I’m learning to speak up about it more. He does the same. I know it has brought us even closer together.

4. I’m super blessed! If I ever do bring something up to James or have a melt down, he is very sweet, tender, and caring to make things right & try to understand. He’s very quick to apologize. And I’m learning to be.

5. I am not perfect. Neither is James. I tend to overspend on groceries. James tends to buy too many gadgets on Amazon. I hate that he goes to bed so late most nights. He hates that I get tired so early practically every night. He hates eating dinner early. I hate that he gets hungry at 11:30pm. He loves being right and proving people wrong. I, also, enjoy being right and do not enjoy being proven wrong. He doesn’t like every article of clothing I pick out for him. He also doesn’t love every pair of shoes or colored tights I like to wear. BUT I’m (we are) learning that we can’t control each other, to accept differences, to accept faults because we both have them, but to also work towards improvement.

6. I am not always in the mood to watch the movie James wants to. I don’t prefer all of his music choices. He’s a constant cuddler. I like a little more space when I sleep. He can sit inside all day. I get antsy and cranky and want to go out. He doesn’t really like going out on walks with me. BUT…we are learning compromise. Loving someone & wanting to see them happy means we do things we might not always like or want to do.

7. Set goals and dream big together! James and I both like to dream big. He’s better than I am at making things happen, but that’s good. He helps me. We set goals together. We both are “in the know” with finances & other important matters. That unity is vital to making our “dreams” come true. It’s nice to be on the same page and work and grow together – To support each other in our endeavors. Especially when there are a lot of bumps on the road there.

 

I guess today I’m especially grateful for marriage. For my sweet husband. For the last 6 months. For how much we both have learned and grown. And mostly for the future we have ahead of us….I look forward to next weekend when we go to Seattle. I look forward to next month when we move home to Georgia. I look forward to a year from now and wherever that puts us. I look forward to when we decide to expand our little family. And I look forward to us being a gray-haired couple still crazy in love!

 

here’s to marriage!

love, whit

2012 in REVIEW

dear twenty-twelve,

you were good to me.   …let’s see why!

i started the year off in ITALIA with my mom. an unforgettable trip of a lifetime that i wouldn’t want to spend with anyone else.

here she is in Florence:

here i am in Rome:

We made it to Venice as well:

….and Siena and Sorrento. and ate and ate and ate. took a cooking class in Florence. fell in love with the land. and had, case in point, the greatest time! perfect start for 2012 if you ask me!

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NEXT…march 2012.    …and i stole the first hug from this certain Gossling boy who came home from his mission in Argentina…

…i went to the beach!…

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that Gossling boy and i became pretty close and enjoyed spring together in GA…

i moved to UTAH in April and became roommates with this crazy fun blonde bombshell…

…and reunited with this blonde bombshell….

…i turned 25! and a certain Gossling boy flew out to surprise me!…

…Summer 2012, i flew home to GA and that Gossling boy and i road-tripped back out to UT together…

…long story short…that Gossling boy proposed,  and we started planning a party…and our forever together…

…the DMOPC family grew…our family at work….

…the big party happened in September…(Elissa turned 26 on our big weekend!)…

…even my Grandparents came from Mexico!…

…married life began. it treated us right. then the husband and i road tripped to California for Thanksgiving to visit family…

…we had fun on the way home stopping in VEGAS with our friends, Lora & Dan Grady (who made the road trip with us! so fun!)…we pinballed and dinner dated!…

…2012 brought new friends…we are so blessed to have…

…in 2012…Gossling Farms was established (best idea ever, Michael & June!)…which allowed for a kick-A wedding reception and for this to happen….woohoo!…

 

…December brought family, friends, and fun as well with Christmas and New Year’s in Georgia….but that will get its own separate post. As well as a well-overdue post with more wedding pictures if I ever get around to it. 2013 in preview also to come…

so yes, 2012, you were good to me. thank you!

 

love, whit

p.s. – as it’s a new year…i decided to align my text to the left for Dave.

Our Wedding Film – final cut!

IT’S HERE!!!!

a  B  I  G  thankyou to our lovely bethany petersen for her hours spent creating a perfect memory of our perfect weekend!

here it is… courtesy of bp.films…

a great blogging start to 2013!

 

love, whit

the married life

marrying james is the best decision i’ve ever made.

…right up there with serving an lds church mission and getting a Costco membership.

i love him! marriage is so much fun. honestly, we go together perfectly. i love that every morning and night, he is there. it is a beautiful thing having someone to share everything with.

there has been some adjustment. the hardest part about being married, is probably our time management. before, it was easy to get things done when james wasn’t around because he didn’t live with me. NOW we both work from home and live under the same roof. naturally, we love spending that time together – but we realized quickly that it was easily wasted because james would cuddle the whole day away while watching Netflix if I agreed to it.

but, we’ve gotten a better grip on how to be in the same small apartment and do our own separate things. we’re over having to always be in the same room as each other…which makes homework, chores, and work happen more often.

even though sometimes james catches me studying like this sometimes…

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james is so sweet to me in so many ways. i love making our “house” a “home”, and he surprised me one morning with these lovely fall mums!:

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we both like to entertain…so having friends over is always an option!

we’ve had a couple “Debate Parties” which were both a full-house success. (on such occasions, i love that i own a crockpot! i’m a little obsessed). or just nights of movies and games is always fun.

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we also did our first BYU tailgating. kabob style. it was great! …though agreed that next time we’ll scale-up a bit….

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we also had our first Cornbelly’s experience! we went with B and Kelli and had a fun fall night of pumpkins, deep fried junk food, and haunted mazes of sorts.

B and James fit in with the other little boyz…

that night was both mine and james’ first haunted anything experience. SUPER fun with B and Kel! i found out i’m a screamer, kelli ain’t eva scurred, and both B and James are runners…James especially when there is a chainsaw involved.

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since fall and the leaf change came around, james and i like to drive up in the mountains.

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we enjoyed the pretty views up there with these two!…lora & dan……

james was even so diligent as to carve our love into an aspen…

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3.5 weeks of marriage down, and i’d say we own it!

more to come!…

love, whit

our love story – filmed!

a little over a month ago, james and i were at a bridal fair here in Utah,

and we happened upon the most adorable and talented Bethany Petersen!

….who became our fast friend and made us this great video before our wedding…

…we relived the night James proposed…

and here, our “engagement story”:

Whitney + James Engagement from bc.film on Vimeo.

THANK YOU BETHANY!!!

we can’t wait to see what she puts together from our wedding weekend!

love, whit

Wedding Week!

 today i’ve been busy packing and making sure nothing is forgotten because TOMORROW morning…

…james and i fly home to georgia for the weddin’!

…and i can hardly wait!

a new chapter is about to begin and i’m very ready for it! james is my best friend and the man of my dreams in every way. i feel like the luckiest girl…

i love love!

so, happy wedding week to US!

love, whit

p.s. – newly wed advice?!? haha

TEN DAYS – and a bridals sneak peak!

just ten days to go!

i don’t even know what to say other than i’m READY already!

here’s a little peak into our Bridals Shoot with Lora Grady Photography…

….look how handsome he is, all candid in his suit!

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i just LOVE the fall look in the last one.

and there’s MORE coming!!

Lora is the greatest!

We drove all the way to Emigration Canyon for this shoot…the very place James popped the question! It seemed fitting.

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anyway….this is me…SO EXCITED!!!

love, whit

one month til i’m wed!

today = August 29th 2012

my wedding date = September 29th 2012

me = !!!!!!!!!!!!

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i spent the last week and a half at home in Georgia. basically the only time i had to really get wedding plans coordinated.

(speaking of GA – look how cute! …the things you find on etsy)

i won’t lie…it was more stressful than i had anticipated. though, i don’t believe there has been ANY wedding pulled together where everyone saw eye-to-eye on everything.

though, we are more than blessed with all of the help and support we have in making this happen. i’m trying not to become a “bridezilla” in the process (which i don’t think i have been – i guess you should really ask james or my mother that)…so as to not seem ungrateful or that i’m taking all of the help for granted.

my best friend, London, and her mom threw me a wonderful bridal shower. it was SO nice! the food was delicious and a good crowd showed up. i couldn’t have asked for a better evening catching up with everyone. it made me feel a little uncomfortable being the “center” of the night and receiving all the gifts. but – it is so appreciated! i felt so loved.

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my dress is all ready. mom sewed a sash together for it and figured out the bustle. she’s also letting me borrow some of her jewelry and we picked out my earrings together at the mall. all i lack is figuring out a veil of sorts – or what i decide to do with my hair.

catering has been selected! – both for the mexican and the southern bbq. so very delish!

and we are even more thrilled now that there has been a more recent addition of SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM to the menu! (thank you, michael / DMOPC!)

the reception location is BEAUTIFUL! so much space it almost overwhelmed me. though it is absolutely perfect. not to mention james and i had fun four-wheeling around it for a bit : )

we also finally had our DJ booked. i’m pulling together a playlist now…requests?!?!

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School started this week.

UGH!

i forgot how much i detest BYU campus during fall and winter. people. e v e r y w h e r e.

i got spoiled over spring and summer, and NOW. yikes. it took me almost 25 minutes to find a parking spot after having dropped james off for his 9:30am class yesterday. Then, we waited a good 30 minutes in line just to get lunch on campus. at taco bell. it’s ridiculous. luckily we both only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. …and I’m definitely packing lunches for tomorrow.

i’ve decided to switch my major YET AGAIN!

..i know, i know. but, Spanish Education just isn’t for me anymore. ha! tomorrow i have orientation and will officially be part of the School of Family Life – emphasis on Human Development. I like it much better…already. Keeping a minor in Spanish though, of course. I’d like credit for that.

poor james is taking a semester-load of classes that make me cringe. though he’s much better at handling it than me. between my being on birth control now and his possible upcoming school stress – we might just become the crankiest newly-weds yet!

speaking of birth control…i’m no fan. it hasn’t quite been a week yet and i’ve already been overly emotional. …every. day. i don’t need my tears to come this easy 24/7. ew ew ew! i know james is not a fan either. i’m kind of a mess.

(again… photo cred to Lora Grady)

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OK, so..

one month to go, and i still need to finish getting invites out. goodness.

and i’m currently living out of a suitcase at Elissa’s place in Cottonwood. she’s the best for housing me so much.

so sick of the suitcase though.

but come Saturday, I’ll get to move into our new apartment in Provo. finally!

we’ll see how i handle living by myself for a month until James gets to move in after the wedding. i think i’ll handle it fine. so fine that he might mess up my feng shui when he does move in! haha. jokes.

(a bedroom like this would really do great things for my chi…)

…wishful dreaming. (restoration hardware)

“setting up house” gets me excited though : ) i’m such a girl.

but now…time for homework…blechk!

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love, whit

j + w … the engagement story

where have my blogging manners gone?!?

my poor blog has been severely neglected ever since the move to Utah. ok, correction, ever since a certain someone came into my life. yes, i readily blame him – the one who i opted to spend all my free time with instead of blogging. (i sure seemed to find it a better “usage” of my days)

do you blame me?!

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stud

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…and we fit well together from the get go. which was march. of 2012. …i know what you’re thinking, you’re doing the math. yes, it’s only july. people, let’s embrace the love story for what it is!

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should i take a step back? to say, march 2012… i’ll try to be brief (HA!)

… MARCH 2012 – Whitney was working for DoMyOwnPestControl and it was all the latest news around the office that James, her bosses’ youngest brother was coming home from serving a two year mission in Argentina.

SIDE NOTE: Now, Whitney and James were already acquainted with each other from years prior (her mom taught him piano when he was just a young tyke and they knew each other from church), though their age difference didn’t place them as close friends growing up.

ANYWAY…

Due to her current employment and having close mutual friends, James and Whitney were obligated to become better friends.

Within a matter of days, the two had already arranged to carpool to work and were hanging out together after hours.

They enjoyed each other’s company, you could say.

Post work/carpool hangouts began to draw-out longer, weekend hangouts and plans were quickly thrown into the mix, concerts, movies, walks, when they weren’t together…they were still in constant communication.

The relationship became official in what seemed like no time – though to them, it had felt like had been dating for a lot longer than the numbers showed.

DiLEMMA! …Whitney had plans to move to Utah in mid April to finish school at BYU. James also had plans to attend BYU, but not until August.

so here’s what happened…

James, out of the blue, decided that starting school in June wasn’t such a bad idea. And the two, out of the blue, happened to be on the same flight out to Utah in April – her, for school. and him, for his best friend’s wedding. He helped her move in and get settled back in Provo; his ten day stay just wasn’t long enough. He was on a plane back to Georgia. It would be six (and some change) long weeks until they would be together again.

Or would it be??

For her 25th B-Day in May, he flew out and completely surprised her. It made the wait for June easier.

Spring term of classes ended, and Whitney was on a flight to Georgia only to turn around and head right back to Utah….but this time in a pick-up truck with James!

(best road trip ever – cross country in three days with as many side stops as they desired)

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…so now we’re both in Provo, UT – living perhaps 4 blocks from each other and taking one class together. James is getting used to my emotions, cleaning habits, and love for gourmet foods. I’m getting used to his constant need for back rubs and love for basic simple foods like mac-n-cheese or chicken fingers (boooring!)

Despite personality differences, we agree on the important things. a complimentary great combo of salty and sweet. sugar and spice. peas and carrots. frosty and fries. you get it?

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Moving right along, and skipping the juicy deets, here we are at July 5th… I receive an envelope at my door containing the following:

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!!!!

Then came yesterday, July 6th 2012

4:30 – He came and picked me up and, as usual, James would not tell me where we were going – just that it was to eat dinner and he had a reservation. (i’ve learned quickly how much he likes surprises and puts a lot of thought into things)

We arrived in SLC at Fresco Italian Cafe (noted as top restaurant in SLC)

after our fancy three course white tablecloth dining, we perused an old bookstore and then off to Dolcetti for dessert

G E L A T O!

nothing better than a little corner shop with obscure ambiance and obscure homemade flavors…

delish!

We finished dessert in time to head HERE at 8pm:

We enjoyed live DJ music, food, and the opening of a new exhibit… Mr. Winkle!!!

probably the funniest art exhibit i’ve ever seen…James sure knows how to pick ‘em! …

here’s to contemporary art museums!

we left around 9 pm…

Now, a lot of people ask me if I saw it coming or had any hunch that the evening would be a “special one”…

Answer – kind of.

Though at this point, we were heading to the truck and our “planned itinerary” had come to an end. I was busy instagramming photies from the evening’s events and not paying much attention to where we were going. Then I looked up and noticed we weren’t heading back to Provo, but towards the mountains.

Hmmm…

I could’ve pestered James with where we were heading, but i’ve learned that it does no good because he never complies. So i decided to remain quiet and see where we’d end up.

It took a while, so i finally asked, “Are we going camping then??”

James – “Maybe”

Road signs told me we were heading to or already in Emigration Canyon – which I found out later is the best place to find the prettiest views of the valley.

We eventually winded high enough that we came upon a small gravel scenic overlook where he pulled over.

We had made it!

Or so I thought until he left the truck running, hopped out, walked over to a rusted fence, pulled a key out of a rusted box on the rusted fence and unlocked the rusted gate that was closing-in the overlook. He drove in enough to then lock the gate behind us.

I stare at him, very puzzled and awed, thinking…”Um, what kind of connections do you HAVE?!” All James does is smile and roll down the windows as we proceed down a path that could hardly be considered a dirt road but more, two lines of tire tracks careened on the side of a mountain.

We end up on the top of a completely secluded mountain – the top being only big enough for the truck and maybe space for a 6-point turn around. Endless gorgeous views on all sides.

(note – the photos don’t do justice to the view – at ALL)

…music playing, cozy blankets and each other’s company – we soaked in the views around us from the bed of the truck.

As i sat there, i remember thinking, “no one has ever done anything like this for me”

…we may or may not have shared a couple slow dances and a few kisses…

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then james says he has something for me and pulls out a handcrafted book from the back of the truck. by this time it’s dark outside and i begin looking through the book by flashlight – james huddled close in the blanket.

yup, james got crafty and sentimental on me…having saved every ticket stub or memorabilia from every thing we’ve done together…

starting at the beginning…

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until i got to the last page…

dead give-away…

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…that is when he made me stand up, pulled a box out of…somewhere…and got on one knee…

all i remember is him talking about cherishing all the memories we’ve made and wanting to fill up the entire book with many more to come…he popped the question in the there somewhere too, but he was emotional and i was emotional so replied, “Of course I will!” with a big hug through the tears before even letting him show me what was IN the box…

i don’t think i’ve seen anything more beautiful than what he picked out for me inside of that box…

(note: i was not involved in any ring shopping of the sort, nor did i hint at any ideas. james did this one all on his own…selecting and purchasing the “perfect” ring back on May 15th — he sure sat on that one for a while. i guess he was all in from early on)

OH. EM. GEE.

yeah, that’s what i was thinking.

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we took a few minutes before heading back down the canyon

the ride home consisted of phone calls and texting to the ones who needed to know stat

and the rest of the night was spent discussing events to come…in all smiles

the big day is coming!

…October is the plan. In Georgia.

exact date TBA.

…i still can’t get over the rock sitting on my left hand. it  S P A R K L E S!!! it sparkles in the dark. it sparkles in the bathroom. it sparkles in the kitchen. it sparkles in the sun. it sparkles when i do the dishes too!

ha

i have to say, i have never felt more loved by anyone than james. how am i so lucky to have come upon someone so thoughtful and full of surprises? someone so willing to put up with me and love me in all my imperfections. someone so quick to apologize and so willing to compromise. someone who has the same long-term goals as me. someone who makes me laugh and holds me tight and makes me feel like i am #1 in his life. someone who i want by my side and really makes me happy. someone who is fun and easy to love. someone who is easy to talk to and makes me comfortable. someone who has become my best friend.

i feel like the luckiest girl

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so that’s our story, for now…

updates to come!

love, whit

turning a quarter-of-a-century

for some, 25 may not seem old at all. in fact, i know many people dream of being that young again.

for me, it seems like just last month i was dreaming of turning 21 and how old i thought that was. then suddenly, i’m blowing out candles on a homemade pink lemonade cupcake and thinking… “twenty-five. where did the last four years go??”

my actual birthday weekend (the BiG day being may 20th) was far better than i could have imagined. i won’t lie – i was not thrilled for the date to roll around and had little intentions of making any plans. in my head, it’s just a reminder of how old i am and where i find myself in life. i never pictured it like this, for had you asked me at age 20, “where do you see yourself in five years?”, i had a different vision in mind.

though, for being a few weeks new in town, new faces and a few familiar ones made it a special day. especially chelsea – my blog bestie and now roommate. (check out her adorable cupcakes and set-up. homemade frosting too!)

however, what made my birthday not so dreary, was a surprise that came about a few days before….

i’m cooking some dinner for me and chels on thursday night, when the doorbell rings. standing there is my boyfriend’s best friend and fiance with beautiful flowers in a vase. a huge smile comes over my face as i’m thinking, “these must be from james!” (also given that they had their iphone out recording my reaction). as i’m gawking over my lovely arrangement, stephen remembers he forgot the stuffed animal in the car and left to retrieve it.

still gawking over my flowers, i hear them call me, “Whitney, come look!”…

completely and utterly shocked, i peek around the corner to see stephen carrying my stuffed animal…

…james flew all the way from Atlanta to surprise me for my birthday!

i had no idea. at all.

best. birthday surprise. OF   ALL   T I M E!

having him here to spend my weekend with was more than i could have ever wished for.

i have to say, i feel like the luckiest girl because james is practically perfect in every way.

happy birthday, to ME!

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though, my birthday is over, and now i’m back to dwelling on my “quarter-of-a-century”. thinking about where i’ve been in my past and where i want to go in my future.

yesterday, i had an overwhelming epiphany regarding my divine potential and the person i could BE. my mind went crazy with goals and resolves of the kind of life i wanted and the things i wanted to spend my days doing. so much to do. so much to learn. so much to improve.

today, i feel an overwhelming wave of disappointment and self loathing because of the person i AM and my lack, or more – failure to ever reach my full potential. walking to church by myself this morning bundled up in freezing wind and hail when it’s only days until june (so messed up) really set the mood for a day that can’t seem to keep the tears from flowing.

it’s days like these when i’m glad to be in a place where nobody knows or notices me, but at the same time wishing i had familiar faces around.

i know come tomorrow, i’ll probably be feeling as good as new…but today, i hate twenty-five.

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last night i put together this super fab arrangement of freshly cut roses from my friend’s bushes…

…and this morning i woke up to find the big ones completely dead/wilted and about half the others pathetically drooping. how appropriate.

i hope the sun comes out tomorrow.

love, whit