what I’m learning being married

James & I will hit the 6 month mark of marriage this coming Easter weekend. 6 WHOLE BIG WHOPPING MONTHS. I know what you’re thinking…that’s NUTHIN’! But it seems that time is flying in a “6 months ALREADY? / ONLY 6 months!? Feels like we’ve known each other much longer.” kind of way. If that makes any sense at all.

I was prepped my whole life to know that “marriage is not easy & not always all romantic like the movies make it out to be.” (granted, I feel that these days movies are portraying more and more dysfunctional family situations than they used to. or is it just me?) Anyway, I’m grateful for going into marriage with realistic expectations. It has made me cherish every bit of it & have fun in the journey. I think marriage is GREAT and SO FUN and SO WORTH IT! Personally, I’m having a blast. That doesn’t mean it’s always all cherry pie and picnics though.

And for some reason, I just feel like sharing some things I’m learning along the way…

1. Don’t dwell on the little things/pick your battles. I’ve accepted that even though I have the mentality of branching out and trying new things…James will ALWAYS order the one thing on the menu that has”BBQ” in the title. Mundane? I think so. The man likes to stick with what he knows. He’s simple. I’m not so much. And I’m not just referring to our food preferences. I could easily let things bother me. Though I’m seeing that our combo is quite the perfect match. We balance each other out nicely.

2. James is male. I am female. well, DUH! But…I’d say we’re both learning to be accepting of the fact that I will always have to repeat myself a few times if I want to get a response out of him while he is watching TV, fiddling with his phone, playing a video game or basically doing anything with technology. Likewise, he has come to terms with the fact that I’m overly sensitive and could, at any given moment, start crying about who knows what that might not even have to do with him. So, patience is key because I highly doubt either of those things is ever going to change entirely…or at all.

3. Communication! We can’t read each other’s minds, so no use harboring ill feelings about something. I think this is mostly for me – the overly emotional one. Poor James won’t always know if I’d like him to help more with something. or WHY I’m acting cranky or stressed. or if there is something bothering me. I’m learning to speak up about it more. He does the same. I know it has brought us even closer together.

4. I’m super blessed! If I ever do bring something up to James or have a melt down, he is very sweet, tender, and caring to make things right & try to understand. He’s very quick to apologize. And I’m learning to be.

5. I am not perfect. Neither is James. I tend to overspend on groceries. James tends to buy too many gadgets on Amazon. I hate that he goes to bed so late most nights. He hates that I get tired so early practically every night. He hates eating dinner early. I hate that he gets hungry at 11:30pm. He loves being right and proving people wrong. I, also, enjoy being right and do not enjoy being proven wrong. He doesn’t like every article of clothing I pick out for him. He also doesn’t love every pair of shoes or colored tights I like to wear. BUT I’m (we are) learning that we can’t control each other, to accept differences, to accept faults because we both have them, but to also work towards improvement.

6. I am not always in the mood to watch the movie James wants to. I don’t prefer all of his music choices. He’s a constant cuddler. I like a little more space when I sleep. He can sit inside all day. I get antsy and cranky and want to go out. He doesn’t really like going out on walks with me. BUT…we are learning compromise. Loving someone & wanting to see them happy means we do things we might not always like or want to do.

7. Set goals and dream big together! James and I both like to dream big. He’s better than I am at making things happen, but that’s good. He helps me. We set goals together. We both are “in the know” with finances & other important matters. That unity is vital to making our “dreams” come true. It’s nice to be on the same page and work and grow together – To support each other in our endeavors. Especially when there are a lot of bumps on the road there.

 

I guess today I’m especially grateful for marriage. For my sweet husband. For the last 6 months. For how much we both have learned and grown. And mostly for the future we have ahead of us….I look forward to next weekend when we go to Seattle. I look forward to next month when we move home to Georgia. I look forward to a year from now and wherever that puts us. I look forward to when we decide to expand our little family. And I look forward to us being a gray-haired couple still crazy in love!

 

here’s to marriage!

love, whit

weekend whatevers

1. My sister, Tamaron, had her first baby! A little boy. Ok, not too little…8.8 lbs! Named Conrad. The 8th grandkid for my parents. He is just too too cute…

and it kills me that they are in Arizona, so I probably won’t see him until maybe this summer…

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2. Lesson learned: Sometimes expensive is often cheaper. AKA: Buy once and buy GOOD!   …quality that won’t break the pocketbook too much or need to be replaced soon or ever.

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3. Other lesson learned: If you give your children everything they want, they will grow up always wanting.

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4. My LESS-STRESS thinking lately:

i hate school, but i’ve decided to learn to learn, not to pass a test. it’s helping me enjoy classes more and not worry so much about the perfect A.

let things go. forgive. i know of no one who is perfect, especially myself, so why point fingers or criticize? no matter our age, we are all still making mistakes just like the next. talk about a stress reliever//burden lifter …let your grudges GO!

again…NO ONE is perfect or has it all together. stop comparing. stop judging.

my stress and frustration only mean i need to quit thinking about it. i need a breather from myself! so… think of someone else, do something thoughtful or nice for them. pay a visit. make a phone call. listen. be a friend.

don’t be blind. open my eyes to the world around me. family. friends. other people have feelings and needs too. not just me.

money doesn’t grow on trees, i know…BUT, as one of my “Guatemalteca” mission companions once told me, “if you’re always worried about money, you’ll never have enough!”  …think about it.

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5.

…and make your dreams happen!

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6.

i’m hating utah snow right now. can i please have a mini greenhouse?!

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7. i love my husband. everyday i realize just how lucky i am for someone SO patient with me and SO forgiving of my quirks and crankiness and SO affectionate.

……look! …it’s us and kitty. …atop our future house in the country?

love, whit

2012 in REVIEW

dear twenty-twelve,

you were good to me.   …let’s see why!

i started the year off in ITALIA with my mom. an unforgettable trip of a lifetime that i wouldn’t want to spend with anyone else.

here she is in Florence:

here i am in Rome:

We made it to Venice as well:

….and Siena and Sorrento. and ate and ate and ate. took a cooking class in Florence. fell in love with the land. and had, case in point, the greatest time! perfect start for 2012 if you ask me!

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NEXT…march 2012.    …and i stole the first hug from this certain Gossling boy who came home from his mission in Argentina…

…i went to the beach!…

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that Gossling boy and i became pretty close and enjoyed spring together in GA…

i moved to UTAH in April and became roommates with this crazy fun blonde bombshell…

…and reunited with this blonde bombshell….

…i turned 25! and a certain Gossling boy flew out to surprise me!…

…Summer 2012, i flew home to GA and that Gossling boy and i road-tripped back out to UT together…

…long story short…that Gossling boy proposed,  and we started planning a party…and our forever together…

…the DMOPC family grew…our family at work….

…the big party happened in September…(Elissa turned 26 on our big weekend!)…

…even my Grandparents came from Mexico!…

…married life began. it treated us right. then the husband and i road tripped to California for Thanksgiving to visit family…

…we had fun on the way home stopping in VEGAS with our friends, Lora & Dan Grady (who made the road trip with us! so fun!)…we pinballed and dinner dated!…

…2012 brought new friends…we are so blessed to have…

…in 2012…Gossling Farms was established (best idea ever, Michael & June!)…which allowed for a kick-A wedding reception and for this to happen….woohoo!…

 

…December brought family, friends, and fun as well with Christmas and New Year’s in Georgia….but that will get its own separate post. As well as a well-overdue post with more wedding pictures if I ever get around to it. 2013 in preview also to come…

so yes, 2012, you were good to me. thank you!

 

love, whit

p.s. – as it’s a new year…i decided to align my text to the left for Dave.

the married life

marrying james is the best decision i’ve ever made.

…right up there with serving an lds church mission and getting a Costco membership.

i love him! marriage is so much fun. honestly, we go together perfectly. i love that every morning and night, he is there. it is a beautiful thing having someone to share everything with.

there has been some adjustment. the hardest part about being married, is probably our time management. before, it was easy to get things done when james wasn’t around because he didn’t live with me. NOW we both work from home and live under the same roof. naturally, we love spending that time together – but we realized quickly that it was easily wasted because james would cuddle the whole day away while watching Netflix if I agreed to it.

but, we’ve gotten a better grip on how to be in the same small apartment and do our own separate things. we’re over having to always be in the same room as each other…which makes homework, chores, and work happen more often.

even though sometimes james catches me studying like this sometimes…

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james is so sweet to me in so many ways. i love making our “house” a “home”, and he surprised me one morning with these lovely fall mums!:

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we both like to entertain…so having friends over is always an option!

we’ve had a couple “Debate Parties” which were both a full-house success. (on such occasions, i love that i own a crockpot! i’m a little obsessed). or just nights of movies and games is always fun.

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we also did our first BYU tailgating. kabob style. it was great! …though agreed that next time we’ll scale-up a bit….

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we also had our first Cornbelly’s experience! we went with B and Kelli and had a fun fall night of pumpkins, deep fried junk food, and haunted mazes of sorts.

B and James fit in with the other little boyz…

that night was both mine and james’ first haunted anything experience. SUPER fun with B and Kel! i found out i’m a screamer, kelli ain’t eva scurred, and both B and James are runners…James especially when there is a chainsaw involved.

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since fall and the leaf change came around, james and i like to drive up in the mountains.

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we enjoyed the pretty views up there with these two!…lora & dan……

james was even so diligent as to carve our love into an aspen…

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3.5 weeks of marriage down, and i’d say we own it!

more to come!…

love, whit

engagement photos

…just look at the handsome man i’m going to marry!

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…and just look at how happy we are!

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there are a TON. and i’m kind of obsessed with them.

our photographer, Lora Grady, is phenomenal.

Check out more of us on her blog:

Lora Grady Photography: Whitney and James Engagements

the wedding is inching closer. september is just around the corner.

right now i’m dealing with moving out and packing. finals. and wedding planning shenanigans.

also, helping out and getting ready for Miss Chelsea Vose’s wedding coming up next week.

Then couch hopping for a bit since I will be temporarily homeless.

And finally, flying home to GA for a bit before Fall classes start.

James flew home to GA today. Then he’s headed to Argentina for a little over a week. I miss him already.

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loved this!…

“With our human frailties, we can do what we can do. But you will never be disappointed by the Almighty. He will work with you.”

—Boyd K. Packer

love, whit

MAY THiRTEENTH – so much significance

today is a BiG day!

and i’ll give you THREE REASONS why:

1. i have the greatest mother in the world. er, universe. er, just don’t try to compete – ok?!

this is her. yvonne. reading her scrips waiting for one of our many trains in italy.

…ok, i have much better pictures, yes. but i thought this one had a nice “vibe” to it. ha!

so why don’t we go back a bit?? my parents on their wedding day!… classic…

four kids later along came her favorite (moi!)…yes, i’m like a little elf…

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you can always find my mom in the yard with her flowers and plants. i often shadowed her…

(pic with the first bloomed tigerlily!!! a native to the northern mexican mountain where my mom grew up):

always supportive…so happy on my temple endowment day back in 2008!…

mom wrote me a handwritten letter every week, without fail, the whole 18 months i was gone on my mission. that mail was the best.

mom and her parents (grandma! – another amazing woman to be mentioned on this day!)…

random. dressed up as cinderelly….super cute, i know…

mom and i tend to go out to eat….and eat a lot when we do…

…which is why we were in heaven when we went to Italy together in january…

(all sorts of flattering pictures, i know!)

enough with photos… my mom is incredible. as i get older, i have the opposite of worry when i see more of her in me. she’s been an example my whole life of hard work, sacrifice, faith, service, and integrity…also distilling in me a love for the arts, music, gardening, cooking, cleaning, and giving. she’s demonstrated to me that the gospel is a way of life and that we should live putting others first.

i can’t even begin really to know what to say when it comes to my mom…

so let’s settle with, Happy Mother’s Day! – te amo un montonsote!

REASON #2 for May 13th

2. i returned home from my mission TWO YEARS AGO today!

holy moly!

yes, that dates me…

though my 18 months spent in the service of the Lord are ones i will never take back and will remember forever. puerto rico and barbados…always in my heart.

i miss them…

…two years ago on Mother’s Day this happened. the best last Sunday any missionary could ask for.

ohmygoodness i’m getting emotional thinking about these people…i must call them…

moving on…

REASON #3 for May 13th…

3.

i’m not one to keep track of dates…but this time i will make note that the 13th marks “one month” of being “officially together”

cheesey?? …you’re just jealous.

a little crazy that after only 6 1/2 weeks of dating, i’m incredibly head-over-heels for this face…

WOAH there, huge zoomed in shot of a face!!!

bahahahahaha

only appropriate though. super cute, right?!

oh…that’s james, btw. get used to hearing about him.

and we’re a pretty big deal.

the talk of the town one might say…

yes…we cook together too.

the only problem…

i have to wait FOUR  M O R E   W  E   E   K   S   until i see him again. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh…

more on this later.

love, whit

Mail in March – i’ll be your penpal

i would venture to guess that most of society today knows the feeling of checking your email to only find lame SPAM. or even logging onto facebook and having no messages or notifications really worth getting excited over. ugh. i hate that too. BUT – you may also know the excitement of finding quality emails from friends or family. maybe even some pictures! or that day you log on to facebook and feel thrilled to see high numbers up in the left corner – the anticipation of clicking to see who wrote on your wall or left you a message. or in the blogging world, finding many comments left from your readers, your friends. let’s face it – people love that!!! we all like feeling loved – to know someone took a few minutes in their day to think of you. actually, in essence, i believe we live for it in a way. human interaction and communication. building and having friendships. relationships.

what am i getting at??!

facebook, blogging, and the internet ASIDE – let’s talk about the hand-written letter. this is something that warms my soul more than any other correspondence (other than face to face). THAT is something that makes my day. tangible, homemade, hand-written, personal – just the concept of the time it takes to send something of that nature – - – it speaks volumes. it is special. and, unfortunately in this day-in-age, it is unique and rare. but it doesn’t have to be! in fact, i wish it wasn’t.

i’ve always loved sending mail. i love crafting together cards, letters, and envelopes. i love preparing packages and send them with anticipation wondering about when it will arrive and if it will bring a smile to the face of the recipient. i enjoy sending because i absolutely LOVE receiving…and wish the world wouldn’t forget the value of such a simple thing.

my fellow blogger, Cassie, at Books and Bowel Movements (love her blog!) has inspired me to take on a challenge: A Month of Letters!

the challenge is to mail 31 letters. they will be hand-written, home-made, personal and all with the “whit touch”. (ohmygoodness who wouldn’t want one of those?!!?) i think it’d be rad if i had 31 different people to write to. old or NEW friends! SO…

here’s my offer, if you’d like to help me in my ambitions, for one of my envelopes or parcels to make it your mailbox, or simply to become my penpal- you can e-mail me your address! i love getting to know people better and forming new friendships…what better way than through mail?! i think it will be a beautiful experience. and very much something to look forward to when walking to the mailbox every day. i’ve been thinking something like this would be a fun idea ever since i saw a fellow blog friend do a Christmas Card swap with her readers (nicole and her precious puggle can be found here)

yes, some of you may be thinking it’s a bit sketchy to give your address away to me (especially if you don’t know me too well). but i assure you, i am no creep. i will not stalk you or sell your information. haha! you must know me somewhat anyhow if you are here perusing my blog. however, it is clearly your decision.

if you’d like to send me your address, do so at my email:    whitney[DOT]tutt[AT]gmail[DOT]com

march is here soon!!!

love, whit

 

stress. what’s my deal?!

have you ever had those days..weeks..MONTHS where you just can’t feel at EASE??!

i mean, yeah…we all stress out now and again. if you don’t ever, i’m envious, PLEASE tell how you manage that!!? i stress more than i should anyway. i over-analyze and over think and turn little things into a BIG DEAL. in a nutshell – i’m female. and i have a slight inkling that some of it’s genetic…am i blaming my mother? not necessarily…but half of my “being” comes from her…and if you knew her, you’d see why i reason this way.

point being: if it’s not one thing – it’s another. and sometimes i’ll go DAYS feeling on edge or just like there is something looming in my life that doesn’t allow me to be fully at peace … and i won’t even know what that is!! so i have to actually take a time-out to stop and analyze my life to see WHAT it is that’s somehow, in the back of my mind, stressing me out.

and sometimes it’s something SO SILLY!!!

anyway…i’m feeling that now. the past few days i’m just TIRED all the time, yet i sleep plenty at night. i haven’t been to the gym in 11 days…yes, i went to Utah AND i’ve been sick. but still. that’s always a good “out” for me and relaxes me. i have headaches. even though i’m tired, my mind is just antsy and cannot focus – it flits from one thing to another. nothing sounds good to eat, i’m getting a picky palate. i’m irritable. i’m ok – i mean, lately i feel TERRIBLY blessed and happy about things….but at the same time, stressed and irritable about so much.

i’m at the point of having to write it all out. put in little simple baby steps what i need to do to “lighten my load”. which to some, probably isn’t EVEN a load.

so this is me, trying to figure out my stress sources right now:

1 – i’m suddenly feeling compelled to, yet again, change my life plans. this item alone has A LOT of sub-categories to it that i won’t go into now.

2 – i’ve realized my Italy trip is only less than 6 weeks away and i haven’t booked/purchased ANYTHING apart from my flight – rail passes, hotels, mini-tours, other passes/events, airport transportation and other things… which entails finalizing the itinerary and how long will be spent in each city and in what order. i have a good idea, just need to sit down and DO it.

3 – upcoming school plans for 2012.

4 – finances. my budget. i’m not in debt at all, i’m actually completely paid off in student loans and everything…but i still worry about how much i’m saving/spending. and about the things i’m saving up for. and the fact that i don’t have a retirement plan yet or any sort of account with compound interest.

5 – keeping in touch with people. a lot of people from my mission. or even other friends… i get easily stressed about overdue phone calls/emails/texts or my delay/lack in responding to them. i’m not good at that.

6 – whenever i have upcoming “photography gigs” (which i LOVE!) i always stress beforehand about lighting and how they’ll turn out. i can’t help it. it’s like i always second guess myself that i even know what i’m doing. that stupid voice in my head that i wish i could slaughter. and yes, i have some coming up.

7 – i have some relationships in my life that now and again pop into my day and overly stress me. and i worry about my relationships with people, how i treat them, the things i say, how i react to how they treat me, when it’s OK to let go and move on.

8 – all the little things i like/want/need to do that aren’t stressful but sit in the back of my head and end up unintentionally making me feel like i’m not getting things done…..like the 5 books i’ve started to read and haven’t finished, and the 6 others i’ve bought and haven’t started. the fact that i haven’t been to the gym in so long or to Zumba class. i’ll be SO ready for bed and it’s late when i realize i haven’t read my scriptures or done anything that day of the sort. i have unfinished paintings, i have unfinished projects- a stack of picture frames i bought for my room still sit on the floor next to my desk because i can’t decide how to utilize them/place them on my wall. i always feel i need to draw/paint more to develop my skills. i always remember i don’t practice the piano hardly…ever.

9 – though i’m rather content with it…the fact that i don’t exactly have close friends here or ever even care to socialize…in essence, bothers me.

10 – being too tired sometimes to do any of the above.

11 – bad hair days. bad face days.

12 – my age.

13 – the economy.

14 – whether or not i’m doing the right thing with my life.

15 – lately, mingling. i won’t even bother explaining. haha.

well, i think that about covers everything that is stuck in the back of my head. i understand that having “things to do” is a normal aspect of life. but sometimes…the list gets longer than i’d like. and…stresses me out. HA! go figure.

i’m a mess! i know. whatever.

once i start checking things off…i can rest easier.

this is a step in the right direction i suppose.

love, whit

please?

i just have to mention that men look SO ATTRACTIVE in ties. and vests. and sweaters.

*SWOON*

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one day, yes, one day…i will find my man.

it’d be an extra perk if he had impeccable taste and style.

but i guess mostly i’m waiting for that guy that makes me feel like he can’t live without me, that i’m the most beautiful thing in his life, and that will love me even though i ramble and lose my mind sometimes.

oh, and can he also be very thoughtful?! you know, do little things for no reason.

the little things mean a lot.

and can he please not live miles away?? i’d like to have someone to spend my weekends with. or even my week nights.

…and not be a terribly picky eater…because i’m kind of a foodie. heh

one more thing…know the difference between YOUR and YOU’RE.

is that too much to ask?

thanks.

love, whit

The Beatles were right…

i have come to the conclusion that The Beatles were right – love is all you need – or, all you need is love!

yes, the world has so much to offer, but #1- are things of this world REALLY that important because #2 – there’s something far greater than this world. and i do believe that love will get us the second and make the first more worthwhile.

everybody, whether they like to admit it or not, lives to love and be loved. we could even say that we live because we are loved…

i mean, look at where it all started. love first came from our Father in heaven who created us – and put us here in this life to learn something. that thing is love.

like everything else in life, love is a choice. and i…choose love.

why? it makes everything better!

love understands imperfection. love will make me kind, even if a person is entirely rude to me.

love will make me patient and caring. love will teach me to sacrifice and to give. love will make my life no longer be about me.

love is the over-powering SUPERNOVA of all emotions. it really is! where there’s love, there’s also hope. love overrides bitterness and anger. love brings peace and joy. love has perspective and can see beyond the surface – beyond that superficial and trivial stuff.

i don’t know who said, but i read it somewhere and really like it, “too often we waste time looking for a perfect lover instead of creating a perfect love.” – SO true.

but apart from that MUSHY-GUSHY love stuff is the other love that makes every day great.

like a love to LEARN and CRAVE NEW THINGS – to set goals and go for them. to make the most of situations and time. right now, i couldn’t be MORE ecstatic about planning my Europe trip. to travel. to experience. to enjoy the life i have.

i choose love because it lets me appreciate. appreciate little things – everyday mundane things. places. people. friendships.

i LOVE friendships. the conversations. the company. the goodness in them. just this weekend i was talking to a friend about how, for a long time there, i hadn’t felt like myself…he mentioned that for a while i used to argue with him a lot about petty things. i felt horrible and apologized, yet he giggled and said, “it’s ok whitney, i’m in it for the long haul.”

i feel really blessed to have a handful of people like that in my life. people who accept me even when i’m crazy or at my crappiest. and i want to be a person that can love people even when they treat me crappy, too. we all have our down moments. regardless, you know what they say, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” so i refuse to play that game. make the world a better place, yah know?

i guess what i’m trying to say is – that’s the attitude of love. throwing out the bad and embracing the good.

and then, even the little things. i mean, the really little things that i love give life an extra bit of joy.

like, for instance, these shoes…and those tights! they make me so happy, in a way that only some may comprehend

or the love of creating. that gratification of making something useful or pretty. or maybe just to let out a little inner satisfaction. …

ie: i’m going to have to do this in the upcoming month – LOVE it! …

or you know the goodness you feel when you eat something you absolutely LOVE? haha…i feel that. asian lettuce wraps, among other things, do that to me…

i also love browsing through book stores, painting my nails, and growing a garden. and photography. i LOVE photography. so why not go back to school and get a degree in it? well, i’m going to. can’t wait!

find what you love – and do it.

maybe i am just a cheesy/crazy “peace, love, & flowers” kind of girl … but, i truly believe that love – in ALL of it’s finest forms – is all you need. so go get some!

[ i did not mention it entirely, but looking at that first and great commandment to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, might, mind, and strength" and then to "love thy neighbor as thyself" would, in a nutshell - if done correctly, encompass everything and accomplish all of what i've been saying...but...instead of raving about that and how it works for who knows how long, i'll just throw it in here at the end ]

love, whit